Sometimes living life in a big family does feel like a three-ring circus, but that's my life, and, all-in-all, I LOVE IT!

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Sing Me Irish, Mommy

There has been a big split in our family.  And I mean a big division.
At first I tried staying neutral, then I tried playing peacemaker, then things got so bad that I just gave up.
And now things have not only gone from bad to worse, but from worse to WORST.
I don't think these two ladies will ever see eye-to-eye.  And, in the beginning, I had a hope that at least while they might never be the best of friends, they would at least be cordial to each other, treat each other with a modicum of respect, and that they'd make sure not to involve the children, but it's gone beyond that now too.  "All the king's horses, and all the king's men..."
It makes for very strained family gatherings to say the least.  It's gotten to the point where Ray & I enjoy it so much more if one or the other is not around when the family visits.  
I have to say, I did see both sides at first, but now, I think they have both behaved in a most negative manner, they both have acted hateful, malicious, and antagonistic, and the only side I'm taking now is the side of the grandchildren.

I'm wishing so much to have my Mom here now.  Just to talk things over with her, and maybe to have her give them one of her pearls of wisdom, such as:  "Oh, get over yourselves!  Quit yer bellyaching at each other and just get along!"  My Mom was very "no-nonsense"!  I miss her a lot.  And I'm asking her to ask the Greatest Peacemaker of All to intervene.  Because it's going to take a miracle and I am no miracle worker.

I've actually adopted an attitude I never thought I would ~ "accept and move on".  I'd love it if we were one, big, happy family.  I have to accept that we are not and move forward.
I'm concentrating on the Blessing of grandchildren and the joy they have brought to our lives.  I'm concentrating on the Gifts God throws my way everyday.
I've been missing my Mom so much lately (she's gone six years this month).  And while searching for Irish music to put on the playlist on my blog I found an Irish folksong my Mom used to sing to me ("That's How I Spell Ireland" ~ the song has my name in it, and my Mom said she always loved that song and that's one of the reasons she picked my name).  In fact, it was my favorite lullaby that she sang to me.  I used to climb up onto her lap as she sat in the big rocker in the living room, and she would rock me to sleep as she sang, and my request would always be, "Mommy, sing me Irish.  Sing me Irish, Mommy."
I cried and cried when I found that song.  Jayden said to me, "Umma, are you crying?!"  I shook my head yes and told him why I was crying, and he said, "Well, at least you're a little bit happy, right?"  Later on he was telling everyone, "Umma was crying today, but they were happy tears."
It's hard to explain to a little seven year old boy the jumble of emotions I was feeling, but he's right, there were very happy tears there mixed in with tears of longing and loss.  It felt good to have that release of emotion that finding this song brought out of me.

Mommy, sing me Irish.


  1. HI EILEEN - wonderful memory of your Mom singing "the Irish"!! And so sad about your two family members at odds - I will pray for peace and harmony or for your ability to step away.
    Love Gail

  2. Sorry about the discord between a couple of family members, Eilene...maybe they will eventually realize how it affects everyone and agree to forgive and forget.

  3. What a wonderful memory of your mother! There is really nothing you can do about the problems your having except just to stay focused on your faith. I'm sorry you are going through this because I know how painful a situation like this can be.

  4. Oh this is all so unsettling isn't it. What a trial for a family to go through. And you're right in the middle. If they could only see life through your eyes. Life is so short and family is everything. But some people just don't get that til years later. I'm so sorry Eileen. You so do not deserve this turmoil.

  5. I wish I could say that I listened to the song Eileen but as I am sitting here my family is watching Twilight, Breaking Dawn or something or other! Katie borrowed my headphones and I've never seen them again! I will listen to the song later. I love Irish music.
    I so truly know how you feel with missing your mom. My mom's birthday was this past monday and I had her on my mind all day. She also knew how to whip everyone in shape. I remember thinking when she passed away two years ago that I was now the Matriarch of our family and what a lousy one I am compared to mom.
    Maybe it's something we learn with time I don't know. Family discourse is always troublesome. We as mothers think "I should be able to fix this". But you know, it's not always possible. So I think this is where prayer comes in, lots of it. Sometimes just stepping away from the situation emotionally and letting time take over, can be healing as well.
    I don't have the answer for you my friend but I will say an extra prayer for you tonight. In the meantime I think you are very wise to enjoy your beautiful grandchildren. They are Gods gifts and blessings to us to be sure. Love Di ♥